Last year, 22-time Emmy award-winning reporter John Stofflet posted this news video he created for KING-TV in 2004, featuring Paul Smith and his artistic talents.
Hello (｡´∀｀)ﾉ i've got a DL question but it it doesn't look like you've answered this yet? Anyway my queation is: how would the sakamaki bros give their "sex talk" to their daughter and son?
I'm living in haste Answer:
Sex talk, Shu and Yui edition:
Shu: You see, when a woman gets perverted urges, sometimes a man has to help—
Yui: Ahhhhh!!! Shu-san, what are you saying!? It has nothing to do with that!
Shu: Are you saying you don’t get those urges?
Yui: …Ah… No, well… But… Surely there’s a better way to explain! You’re making it sound awfully one-sided.
Shu: Fine. When a man gets perverted urges, he has to push his woman dow—
Shu: …Tch. How troublesome… Why don’t you just explain it, then?
Sex talk, Reiji and Yui edition:
Reiji: In order for a baby to be formed, a sperm and an egg must combine. This happens through intercourse.
Yui: Reiji-san, that is…a rather dry explanation.
Reiji: Did I say anything wrong?
Yui: Well, no. But that’s not the point!
Reiji: …Heh. I see. Listen, child, when two people love each other very very much, sometimes they need to communicate this in a way that uses no words…
Reiji: Oh dear. Your mother’s face is turning quite red… I wonder what she could be thinking of?
Yui: (This is embarrassing in a whole different way!!)
Sex talk, Laito and Yui edition:
Laito: You mustn’t be afraid of fucking someone or being fucked. Sex is a gift that should be bestowed upon—
Yui: Laito-kun!! Just what do you think you’re saying to an impressionable child!?
Laito: Nfu~ I’m telling them something very important for their future happiness.
Yui: I’m not sure I would have wanted to hear this sort of talk as a child…
Laito: Incidentally, how did your father tell you about sex?
Yui: …Well, I was told that it’s a sin to lay with a man before you’re married…
Laito: Oh my! That makes you quite the sinner, then, Bitch-chan!
Yui: …Sheesh. I won’t be that close-minded at this late hour, but can you at least explain things in a different way?
Laito: Okay~! So look here. Women have three holes that you can use to—
Yui: JUST STOP!
Sex talk, Kanato and Yui edition:
Yui: …and so I was hoping that you might explain to our child…since you’re their father.
Kanato: Fufu, you were right to ask me to do this. I can only imagine how terribly you’d muck things up if you tried it yourself.
Kanato: You see, sex is something you do with someone whom you want to stay with you forever.
Yui: (Th-that’s an uncharacteristically romantic thought…)
Kanato:—Once you bind them with the chains of pleasure, they will be yours in mind and body. You’ll be free to do with them what you wish…carve out eternity into their bones… Ah, the blood and the cries of pain are…
Yui: (I TAKE THAT BACK!!)
Sex talk, Ayato and Yui edition:
Ayato: Hah? “Sex talk”? Chichinashi, I didn’t think I’d ever hear such daring words from you.
Yui: Th-that’s just what we humans call it! It’s not what you’re thinking, Ayato-kun! It’s just…you know, since our child is coming of age, perhaps you need to explain to them about all this…
Ayato: Explain? Sex?
Ayato: How the hell do you explain something like that? If they want to have sex, they should just have sex!
Ayato: What’s the big deal? Vampires live forever, so they should be able to live it up as much as they want.
Yui: Does that mean…you’re all right with unscrupulous men laying a hand on our daughter?
Ayato: ……Oi, daughter. If you wanna have sex with anyone, you better bring them home and let me give them a once-over, first!! It’s non-negotiable!!!
Sex talk, Subaru and Yui edition:
Subaru: Why the hell do I have to talk to them about this?
Yui: Well, you’re their father, after all.
Subaru: And you’re just going to sit back and make me do all the talking? Don’t mess around with me!
Yui: But… I’m too embarrassed. I was raised pretty conservatively, so I’m not quite sure what to say. …Please?
Subaru: …Tch. Fine!! But it’s not because you asked me or anything, got it!? I just happen to be in a talking mood!
Yui: (Subaru-kun is so kind…)
Subaru: Look here, kid. When a man lo—…
Subaru: When…a man……
Subaru: ///// ARGH, FORGET IT!! I’M NOT DOING THIS! READ A DAMN ANATOMY BOOK OR SOMETHING! I’M LEAVING!
1. Frankenweenie (2012)
2. Corpse Bride (2005)
3. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THIS
I’ve been cheated my whole life.
"Every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Not necessarily in that order." - Tim Burton.